What's Wrong With "Yes"? :)

I've decided that my tendency as an older sister is to say "no" to too many things. True, at times, the requests I deny are quite ridiculous like Gracie's the other day: "Rachie, can we go in the 'prinkler in our bathin' suits?" (40 degrees outside! :P)
Many times I say "no" out of genuine reasons to protect my siblings from foolish behavior or danger I can foresee that they can't. But there are the times when I say "no" out of purely selfish motives.
"Rach, can we build a tent with the dining room chairs?" (Don't want a mess to clean up, so I answer, "no".)
"Rach, can I borrow your hoop?" (Don't want to have to clean any more dirt off it next time I wear it than is already there, so I answer "no")
"Can I help 'make' with you?" (Want to get dinner fixed as quickly as possible and a pair of little hands are rather clumsy with a potato peeler so I answer once again, "no")

There is probably no genuine reason for my declining the request. I just don't feel like dealing with the extra mess or noise. But a little while ago I began wondering, "How often do I say 'yes' to their requests? Do they already anticipate I'll say 'no' before they even ask?"
And I could not answer that question as gladly as I hoped I could. Too often my stock answer is "no". So I began looking for opportunities to say yes to simple, harmless things the kids would love doing. It hasn't always been really easy to let them have their way in those areas once in awhile- I still don't relish the extra work. But I'm no longer looked upon as a "fuddy-dud". :)
After all, what is wrong with letting Benjamin and Abby play spies in the place beneath the stairwell? Or pack lunch in a picnic basket instead of slapping it onto plates? Or letting the music stay louder than I'd like while they dance to it? Aren't these all things that delighted me as a child?
As Mama always says to me: "I don't care if I come back and the house is a wreck, so long as the little ones' eyes are shining." :) ~Rachel

So You Think There Are Nuts on Your Family Tree?

"There's no place like home for real comfort!"

"Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first
associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no
subsequant connections can supply..."

-Jane Austen

Doubtless when Jane Austen penned those words, she was thinking of her own home and family. To put it plainly, and in blunt English, we can quote my Grandmama:

"We all love our own weird family!" :D

This does not imply exactly that one's family is weird, only that we are all most comfortable amongst our blood relations! :) I must say, it feels good to have Daniel back in our midst! Like in the Austen quote above, though Matthew did his best as a cousin to fill Daniel's place, there is nothing quite like the original! (no offence m'dear! :) I am so blessed that Dad and Mama have instructed us, and placed great value, in our building good relationships with our siblings! It always saddens me to see grown men and women fueding over simple things, because they have never had good relationships to begin with as children! I know we are not perfect. Far from it! I'm sure every member of my family can testify to the fact that I lose my patience sometimes, and can be quite as snippy as the next person. But the difference comes in the way we handle the not-so-godly times. It is the contrast between Nellie-Oleson attitude being the norm, and a bit of crabbiness once in awhile. Do I throw up my hands, roll my eyes and say, "Why do I even try?!?!" with a self-piteous moan, or do I humble up, apologize, and put my shoulder to the plow and wrangle the attitude? God has given us our families to be in it with us for the long haul, including all our quirks and oddities. We can either fight against it, and constantly pull seperate directions, convinced that the "perfect life" is just over the horizon, or we can look around us, and realize that, all small quirks aside, we are a working, God-created team, built specifically to fulfill a special purpose in His plan. It is easy to put up a good, patient, saintly front for those people you see only once a week. But the real test is among the people you live with 24-7. Do they respect you? Are you treating them with the deference you show to everyone at church? I know I am probably misquoting someone, but it has been said, "A great man is respected best, by the people who know him best." I know that sometimes we can get on each other's nerves. But chances are, truly, that at least half of our "issues" with others, are of our own making. When the Walkers were living with us for 3 months, we had a huge poster up with this verse to remind us constantly of the Lord's will for our relationships: "1 Peter 4:9-11 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as with the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen" Right in these few short verses you have all you need to know to have successful family relationships. If, every time I opened my mouth, I spoke only the words God would put there, I doubt my siblings would have reason to complain! If I ministered to them with the gifts the Lord has given me, instead of maybe saving them for people I felt like serving (in my flesh) I am sure things would always go smoothly. Try it, and you will be surprised at the "change" yo observe in your family. Though I would beg to wonder if perhaps the change was in your own heart! :) Although this may seem like a rambling post, it has an object- I started it thankful for being a whole family once more, and I end it in the same way, merely challenging us all to try to make our home a place that our family members long to return to whenever they are away! :) -Rachel