Well, three of him. Could you ask for a better creep? Long claws, buggy eyes, whirring wings... *shiver* It all began yesterday evening. Like the good girls we are, after chores, Sarah, Leah, Anna, and I all went out on the porch in the cool of the dusk to shell these:
Only it was not so glamorous and pretty-looking. Our version is more like piles of this:
We quietly shelled the lima beans, singing as we went. That is when the Villain first came onstage. With a whirr of wings, he hit a shutter of the house, then fell to the ground. I screeched, I confess, and tucked my skirt tightly around my ankles. I do not get an overly loving feeling over praying mantises! :) We stood up to do something, and as I prepared to sit down, I saw little Manty, clinging to the back of my rocking chair. This would not do. So we girls took turns shying shoes and baseball mitts at all three of the creepy insects. (there were 3 at this point in time) My goal was to knock them off the house and chair. Anna's goal was to clock them. She hit the biggest guy, (twice the size of the picture of there) and he fell to the porch with one menacing wing sticking out funny. I ran off the porch, thoroughly disgusted. The third one persisted in staying on the house. I took the baseball mitt, and chucked it at him, hitting him off the siding, and causing him to fly through the air, chasing me the whole length of our front porch! :P That excitement being over, we returned to shelling Limas, thinking that the Villains had been vanquished for sure and certain.
Enter Matthew Walker. Good cousin, he. But mischevious lad at times. He sits on the porch, talking to us, and watching his good, house-keeping cousins shell the beans. He declines the offer of helping, and prefers to watch our deft fingers do it. Scrapes a pile of beans off his lap that Leah put there, and continues to chat about many things. He laughs over our praying mantis story. We girls continue to sing.
♫ "Some bright morning when this life is o'er
I'll fly away
To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away...." ♫
Sarah utters a little squeal, and ducks her head, for one Villain, the poor injured one who had meanwhile climbed up the front door, hits a porch post near her vicinity, and falls into the flower bed. While she is shuddering over the thought of that nasty creature coming anywhere close, Matthew the Brilliant, Matthew the Quick, Matthew the Witty, takes a lima bean shell, aims, and quietly throws it, hitting her chest perfectly on time. Her eyes take on an expression like this:
And she utters the loudest scream I think I've ever heard coming from her mouth! "AGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!" She falls back into her chair, and continues writhing about, looking as if she is in the depths of an apoplectic fit while we all collapse in laughter. The joke is explained. She is relieved. They repair to a movie inside, while I brave the Villains, and sweep up all the shells. And that, dear readers, is the tale I have to tell! :) -Rachel
