True Femininity: How to be a Heroine

With a recent viewing of the 1995 Pride and Prejudice fresh in my mind, and my thoughts still bent on wondering how it would feel to be Lizzy Bennet, I thought now was as good a time as any to do my "How To Be A Heroine" post. :)

Who has not watched a movie and sat through the end credits, wishing and dreaming that she was Elizabeth Bennet, or Jo March, or Emma Woodhouse or a score of other heroines?

I've noticed a trend in the blogging world of using popular heroines' names as a screen=n

ame.

So what is it that makes up a heroine that is laudable, worthy of imitation, and unforgettable?

How can we become such a young lady?

Here are some of my thoughts on the subject:

A heroine is beautiful-- I am a bit reluctant to address this

subject, as the whole self-image thing can be an issue for many girls. There are two sides to the beauty subject. I will address the less important side, that of outward beauty, first.

Each heroine makes the most of her beauty, however much she has. And believe me. There is some beauty to be found even in the plainest of faces. A young lady ought to be careful to dress herself tastefully and neatly, without a bunch of extra feathers and furbellows

.

This is not what we're looking for, although it has it's place, I suppose.

Ahh! Much better! Beautifully feminine and simple all the same.

Every girl, regardless of her natural features can take pains to make the most of her temple and prepare herself sweetly and modestly for the day. And remember girls, the girl who smiles is always the most beautiful! :)

Now for the second, and more important, side of beauty. A heroine is always a girl who has strength of character, nobility, and a sweetness about her that blesses everyone she comes in contact with. She is cherished, not because she is outwardly beautiful, but because she is a heroine in every sense of the word.

A heroine is a lady: I cannot stress the importance of this one aspect of a heroine. Before I go further, I must tell you that a guy will not act like a hero unless the girl is a lady and lets him act heroically. If a girl is out to prove herself all the time and charges forward in life, leaving all she passes breathless, the guys will steer far away, relieved to have escaped her steam-roller attitude.

So, what does ladylike-ness look like in a heroine? Well, if you notice, a heroine typically is not a Lydia Bennet. In other words, a flirt.

Such a girl who flaunts herself and fills the air with senseless chatter only to elicit laughter and attention from the guys will never end up with a hero. She might catch a Wickham, though.

Ahem.

A heroine who is a lady is socially graceful. She knows what to say and when to say it.

One of the things I admire in other young ladies and am striving to cultivate in myself is the ability to make real conversation with ease, to have substantial conversations with people, and to have a ready and thoughtful answer to give when required.

"A girl of sense is infinitely preferable to a sensible man...."

Truly. It is not the flirtatious, cavorting girls who are the respected, well-loved sisters in Christ.

If you are a Lydia Bennet, you will have the attention of Wickham, but miss out on the regard and honor bestowed on the true heroines by the Mr. Darcy's of this world.

A heroine thinks of others above herself.

I think of Molly Gibson in Wives and Daughters who was constantly giving of herself to others, even when the situation was awkward, and it cost her her reputation. This is another treasure of a heroine. She is always indispensable to her family, friends, and community. :)

A heroine is accomplished and productive.

The heroines we all love best are full of spunk, creativity, and profitable ventures. Who can help admiring and loving a girl who keeps busy and cheerful doing productive things? :) And for many heroes out there, this is one of the most attractive things about the heroines.

A heroine, in short, is a truly womanly woman. She brings out the most manly side of the men and the most beautiful side of her fellow women. She does not put herself out to have all the attention, but says things worth saying, listens to others, and is dependable, graceful, beautiful, kind, accomplished, sweet, and patient. I think we could all use to take the example of the Lizzy and Jane Bennets, the Emma Woodhouses, the Molly Gibsons, and try our best to be true heroines. :) It isn't easy, but I think the world needs a few girls who are determined to be heroines, don't you? ~Rachel

Why We Girls Love Heroes :)

This post could alternately be titled "A Few Thoughts on What Makes a Man Great", (from a girl's perspective) or "How to be a Hero" if you're a guy and want to know. ;)
So I've been seriously thinking the past few days, "Why is it that all women love the heroes in the Jane Austen/ Charles Dickens novels?"
Just yesterday at a picnic Daniel looked on in amusement as my friend and I slightly ranted over our dear Mr. Thornton (Richard Armitage) being cast as Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit. Poor fellow. From a BBC hero to a dwarf. ;)
But in all seriousness, I have been taking a deeper look at what makes attracts us to these fictional men. I can assure you it is not because they are perfect men. Not at all. Mr. Thornton is first seen raving mad at a dangerously irresponsible mill-worker. But you learn to love the man's character as you come to understand his life so far and his vision for the future.

And contrary to popular belief, I do not love these characters solely because they are nice-looking. I have great interest in characters, because I love to write. So I look far deeper than outward appearances when I give my approval to someone, be he fictional or not. So back to the topic of this post. Why do we love a hero?
I will list the things I have thought of, and see if you agree with me.

• A hero is a gentleman. Believe me when I say that I prize this quality *very* highly among young men, or men of any age. Once a perfect stranger held the door of a restaurant open for a friend and I while we were still half-way across the parking lot. He waited till we were all the way through to close it. We didn't know the fellow, we will never seen him again, and yet by standing there and treating us as if we were worth taking care of, he made my week. :) Think Mr. Knightley asking poor, slighted, Harriet Smith to dance after a very ungentlemanly character insults her...
• • 

• A hero is honourable. Think of all the great guys in the movies--they treat women with respect, purity, and honor. They would sooner lose their fortunes than their reputations. I think of Mr. Clennam of Little Dorrit who voluntarily goes to debtors prison because he will not run away from the bankruptcy he accidentally brought upon his business partner.

• A hero treats every woman with respect, not just his sweet-heart. This is one of the most endearing traits in a hero. I think of Mr. Knightley sitting in between Miss Bates and her mother appearing to be having just as much fun as if his seat-mate was Emma Woodhouse. It's easy for a guy to be on his best behavior when he is trying to win a woman's heart, but to be just as deferential and sweet to an old maid who talks your ear off? True character.
• A hero is a real man. None of your soft-handed, pussy-footed video-gamers, please. The hero sort is a hard worker, or at the very least educated and productive. He is never a time-waster and a good-for-nothing. :)
• A hero never selfishly pushes his own agenda, but wisely instructs the woman he loves because he loves her and cares for well-being. He'd never make a woman feel guilty for not marrying him, or convince her to do anything she didn't feel was right. I think of the scene in Bleak House where Dr. Woodcourt proposes to Esther Summerson. She refuses and he accepts that, but gently points out that he thinks she is headed in the wrong direction. You can tell he's not saying that for his own means, but because he is genuinely concerned about Esther's happiness. :)
• A hero has a side to him that can be hard for the heroine to accept. He shows her her own follies without masking it, in an effort to protect and urge her on to better things. :) Anyone wanna say "Gilbert Blythe"? ;)
• A hero can have made mistakes, but needs to have risen above them. Like poor Edward Ferrars- engaged to a girl for five years who was only after him for his money and soon ditches him for his rich brother. It all ended rather well for Edward, actually. :)
  
• A hero makes sacrifices for others, even if it means he loses everything he is himself. And this is the last and best. Every fictional hero's sacrifice brings a glow to our hearts and tears to our eyes, and yet it is but a vague shadowy copy of what our Lord Jesus did for us. His wooing and winning of His errant people, His sacrifice for us is the greatest romance, the greatest novel, the greatest ending of all time. :)

So I hope everyone enjoyed this post! :) I merely pointed these things out so that we as girls could think about the things that really make a man what he is, and so that any young men who chance to read this could have an idea of why we girls swoon over heroes so often. :) And so as not to seem like I'm preaching to the guys out there, everyone stay tuned for the sister-post, "How Can We Become Heroines" :) -Rachel

Wedding Bells Ahead :)

"Come, let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each other!
How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with." ;)
~Charles Dickens

This Saturday, December 11, 2010, will be the first wedding of in "Our Group"! Meredith Alexander has long been an inspiration to the young ladies in our circle who personally know her, and to many other young women around the world with her blog: Striving To Serve at Home.
The very first week our family began attending our home-church, it was the Alexander's last week there, and so I have not been able to get to know Meredith as well as I wish I could, however, I still look up to her as a shining example of what godly womanhood can be, and count her among the young women who inspire me and who I want to be like someday! :) Meredith chose to stay at home after graduating high school, but, contrary to what many would like to believe, she has had one of them most vibrant lives of any young woman I know! I cannot count how many times I have got on her blog and come away inspired and renewed by what I read. Most people, when they think of a "Stay at home daughter" conjure up some picture of knitting needles and freshly baked cookies, and someone playing the harp. (Not that I have a problem with any of those things! :) But Meredith has started numerous businesses, run a tractor service, baked cheesecakes for a tea house, and absolutely poured forth creativity, all the while choosing to live under her father's household during her single years! Meredith's devotion to the Lord, and her family, has been so encouraging to witness!
The amazing courtship story of Meredith and Stephen has been such a blessing to me, especially as I often wonder, "Is there *anyone* around for me?". Her story really shows God's amazing plan for our lives! Click here to read the story. I don't know about the other girls, but Meredith has been a bit of a celebrity in our midst! ;) I do feel like I have been watching a wonderful movie and finally, finally, the lovely Princess has found her Prince "once upon a time".

So tomorrow we are going up to their area to help with the wedding. Tomorrow the weekend of the Princess's bridal festivities will begin. Sleeping Beauty has been awakened, Cinderella has tried on the glass slipper, and since the Lord Jesus has been in every detail of their relationship so far, I have full confidence that Meredith and Stephen will live Happily Ever After. :) ~Rachel

A New Take On The Noble Woman

At Daughters of Destiny camp, we had been reflecting at one point in the week on Proverbs 31. This is a classic picture, as we all know, of Biblical femininity, and, to be honest, at times I have felt I have gotten all I could out of it without totally tearing the passage to shreds. But of course, God's word is never "figured out" entirely, and He brought something to mind as we read the chapter. But we got home, and I got busy, and I forgot the observation, until yesterday when I was at a Bible study, and it was once more brought to my attention. Here is the verse that caught my attention: "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness- Prov. 31:26" I had always taken this verse to mean, as it does, that a godly woman's speech should be wise and kind. But I also was struck by a bit of a deeper meaning. "She opens her mouth with wisdom..." This points out to me, upon closer inspection, that she knew when to speak, and when to keep her mouth shut. Notice this verse did not say: "Her mouth opens with wisdom.." No, it said, "She opens her mouth with wisdom". This is a conscious decision on the woman's part to speak. Which denote a conscious decision on her part to be silent too! :)
Let's face it girls, we all like to talk. At least, more than guys generally do! Half the time, I don't think we make a conscious decision to speak, the idea just pops into our head, and the words come out easy as a wink! :) Haven't you been talking to a friend before and after-wards thought, "Wow! I can't remember what it was we were talking about, but I had fun!" :)
We girls just like to talk for talking's sake. Everything must be discussed from saying we went to a certain place, to when we went, why we went, who went with us, what we wore, what she said, what they said, what happened, what you ate there, etc. :D
I just wonder, what would happen if, just for a week, we each tried to say only things that really mattered? Not that you couldn't have a pleasant conversation, but we could take a hint from the Proverbs 31 woman, and, instead of telling the ins and outs, and whys and wherefores thereof, of every detail of what we have been doing, we could answer any inquiries pleasantly, and ask someone else a question, giving them some talking time for once! :)
I'm sure our brothers, fathers, and even our other friends would enjoy the brief respite from chatter! This afternoon I could hear a flock of noisy blackbirds flying through the woods far before I caught sight of them! I hate to make the comparison but...don't we girls often sound like that? :D Anyway, this was just a musing I had over a verse I had assumed had one meaning, and God showed me differently! Hope it was some good to another fellow-chatter! :D ~Rachel

A Few Thoughts

Hello! Recently I have been reading a book called "Preparing To Be A Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. It has been a great encouragement to me, and renewed my vision for how I will use my single years. One thing that really stuck out to me, was the idea of using these years to learn and store up as many skills and as much information as you possibly can. The author stated that if God has plans for you to be a farmer's wife, you'd better learn how to make cheese and butter, plant a garden, and preserve food. If he has plans for you to be the wife of a man who loves to be hospitable, you had better learn to cook for alot of people on a shoestring budget. And since we don't know God's plans for us, it is advantageous to learn all of these things, for we never know when we might need them. I think of the verse in 2 Tim. 4 where it says "..Be ready in season and out of season." I may not think I'll ever need to know a certain skill I have an opportunity to learn, but you know what? It doesn't hurt to learn it in the "out of season" time, and keep that knowledge for "someday". Another thing that challenged me is this: I desire to marry a man of valour and godliness. A man with a very strong vision for his family and his walk with the Lord, and who is a true man. That is all a very noble idea, but it becomes a bit selfish if I am not now preparing to be the woman that such a man will need. And so that is something I am working on also. It would be dreadful to marry a wonderful man like that and let him discover later that I was ill-prepared for anything useful! (I'm not saying I am that way, but it is just a thought you know.) Even after I technically "graduate", I will focus even more on storing up knowledge. It is an exciting thought! It almost gives me the feeling of a race to see how well I can prepare and how much of a true godly woman I can become before my "Prince" comes to get me! :) -Rachel

""The Lassie Who Can Blush"

Hey guys! This is Rachel! I was in a mood to write a poem today, and this one fell together very quickly, so I thought I'd put it on here and see what you all thought of it! This poem is written from a wise young man's point of view! :)

"The Lassie Who Can Blush"

By Rachel H.

I would give many a dollar,

I would give a golden thrush,

If you showed me really, truly,

A young lass who still can blush.

There are many "happy" women

Who have laid their values bare,

Who parade in shameful clothing

That low men might think them fair.

But the kind of girl I notice,

Isn't one who's in a rush,

Not a girl who's bold and brassy,

But a lassie who can blush.

A blush is colored innocence,

The rose of modesty,

The proof of wholesome maidenhood

Through endless history.

And oft I smile to myself

As I catch a tell-tale flush,

"There's still a precious group of them-

Those lassies who can blush!"

I would give many a dollar,

I would give a golden thrush,

Just to see old-fashioned sweetness

Of a lass who still can blush.

"Yoo-hoo! Any Knights Still Alive?"

Hi everybody! I thought I'd take some time this afternoon and do a post of more substantial value than anecdotes from our trip...

Lately I've been reading Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott. If anyone of you haven't read it, you really should. It is a brilliant masterpiece. So well-written if fact, that I found myself absolutely intrigued by the picture of knights in shining armor contesting on a field to win the prize of choosing the "Queen of Love and Beauty". Is it any wonder that a girl begins to long for the days of merry old England when chivalry was practiced by most, and cherished by all? When a man would fight to the death another man who had insulted a woman in any fashion? When the prize of keeping a maiden safe was coveted and contested for? I found myself wondering in a sighing sort of way, "Where have all the knights in shining armor gone?"
Isn't that funny? We maidens immediately assume that it the fault of the knights that they are not around. But if we feel that way, we are making a mistake. Let me tell you what really happened...
We maidens were not content to stay at the castle and be maidens. Nay, we refuted the help of a knight too many times. We, in foolish, puffed-up pride, decided that we could rescue ourselves from the dragon of so called "unfulfillment" by wearing the shining armor ourselves. We forsook the art of supporting the knights, and training our brothers to be knights, for some twisted picture that if we wore the shining armor, (that so ill-fits the feminine form and graces) we could rise to new heights, and come out princesses still. But while reaching for that illusive, wrong goal, here's what happened.
The knights found themselves unwanted. They were stripped of their dignity and manliness. Now that everyone wears armor, none of it shines. The armor, and chivalry has been dimmed by wrong ideas, and being refused over and over again. A knight no longer thinks to be strong for a lady. He has been lashed with a woman's tongue too many times, laughed at for trying to help her, and his place has been filled by maidens masquerading in armor, pretending to be happy. This is extemely wrong.
But take heart my maidens, and if any "closet knights" are reading this, listen please:
There is a host of maidens growing up, waiting willingly to be rescued by a true, chivalrous knight. There is another host of knights, who are dusting off their armor, daring to be men, and opening doors for ladies, whether they want it or not.
Let's not be deceived in thinking that chivalry has and always will have gone the way of leg-warmers, and bell-bottoms. No. But we as maidens must take pains to show the willing, but shy knights, that we are of a legion who wants to be rescued. And in this God-given position, we will find true fulfillment in being princesses: Daughters of the King of kings.

Something Quick

'ello! This is me, Sarah. I was just gonna do a post, but first: did any of you watch the Super Bowl last night? and if so, who were you rooting for? Most of my family was going for the Indianapolis Colts(I didn't know much about either team, but I liked their colors and heard some things about the other team that I didn't like) I still don't know who won, but in the 3rd quarter, the Saints were way ahead, so........anyway.

Last night on the way home, Daniel and I were listening to songs on his iPod. I heard this one song that stuck out to me. It's called "Beloved" and it's by Tenth Avenue North.

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

There you will find what you need.

Give me your life,

Lust and the lies

The past you're afraid I might see.

You've been running away from me.

Chorus:

You're my beloved,

Lover I'm yours.

Death shall not part us

It's you I died for.

For better or worse

Forever we'll be

Our love, it unites us

It binds you to me

It's a mystery

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

Then you will find what you need

I'm the giver of life

I'll clothe you in white

My immaculate bride you will be

Oh, come running home to me.

Chorus

You're my beloved

Forever we'll be

Our love it unites us

It's a mystery

I took this song to be the idea of the Lord being the bridegroom of his people and the church. I've come across this subject a few times recently. We, as young ladies not ready for courtship or marriage, need to be focusing on falling in love with Jesus. It's very easy to be distracted by things of the world, but in this period of our lives, the most important thing we can do is to grow our relationship with the Lord. The Bible compares Christ and the church to a bridegroom and bride. I think that as young women we need to be as, or even more eager and passionate in loving the Lord right now, as we will be in the future in loving our husbands. That's just been in my mind recently, so I thought I'd go ahead and share it with ya'll!
Hope it wasn't too boring! I hadn't really collected all my thoughts about it till now.
-Sarah

Waiting-delighting quotes

Hi Everybody! This is almost like a Q&A post, but it isn't. :) Instead, I've noticed that so many young women I talk to are working at delighting in the Lord and waiting for His plan. Many of them are wondering if they will ever get married or if they do, when? And many other things of that nature. So I have seen tons of great quotes on different blogs, and I thought that anyone who had a good quote or piece of Scripture related to this topic could leave it as a comment! Then whoever wants to can read this and get a big chunk of godly wisdom in one spot! -Rachel

A brief thought for a Nor'easterish day

Hey guys! I love bad weather for a season don't you? Okay! Here is something that I loved when I read it last night. I figured I'd just put this on here and see what you young ladies, and men if you'd like, think about it!

Peter Marshall's Challenge:
The modern challenge to motherhood is the eternal challenge- that of being godly women. The very phrase sounds strange in our ears. We never hear it now.
We hear about every other kind of woman-- beautiful women, smart women, sophisticated women, career women, talented women, divorced women.
But seldom do we hear of a godly woman-- or of a godly man either, for that matter.
I believe women come nearer fulfilling their God-given function in the home than anywhere else.
It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife than to be Miss America.
It is a greater achievement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second-rate novel, filled with filth.
It is a far, far better thing in the realms of morals to be old-fashioned than to be ultra-modern.
The world has enough women who know how to hold their cocktails, who have lost all their illusions and their faith.
The world has enough women who know how to be smart.
It needs women who are willing to be simple.
The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant.
It needs some who will be brave.
The world has enough women who are popular.
It needs more who are pure.
We need women, and men, too, who would rather be morally right than socially correct.
Let us not fool ourselves- without Christianity, without Christian education, without the principles of Christ inculcated into young life, we are simply rearing pagans.
Physicallym, they will be perfect. Intellectually, they will be brilliant. But spiritually, they will be pagan. Let us not fool ourselves.
The twentieth (or twentyfirst) century challenge to motherhood-- when it is all boiled down-- is that mothers will have an experience of God... a reality which they can pass on to their children.
-Peter Marshall, Mr. Jones, Meet the Master

Okay! That's great isn't it? I loved it! Well, gotta' be skitterin'! -Rachel

A Few Thoughts on Femininity

Okay! Here is a post that has not been particularly studied out, but it is something I have been thinking about recently, so bear with me if I go off on rabbit trails--
When we read back on the great women of the Bible, such as Esther, Sarah, Naomi, Mary, all these, don't you ever marvel at the beauty of their stories? When you read Ruth, doesn't it seem the most beautiful love story ever penned down? What exactly made these women so admirable? Well, several things- but to start off, I want to go to 1 Peter 3:3-5: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, and the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands..."
So here you have a pretty great picture of the secret to these women- their beauty came from within, and not only is this beauty unfading, but it is of great worth in God's sight. But I also think it is interesting that these women purposely practiced this attitude. It says that they used to make themselves beautiful in this way. So, that is one facet of this subject: the gentle and quiet spirit. But one thing that I think these ladies did, was to rejoice in their femininity. Esther had a whole year of beauty treatments. These women like Hannah, and Sarah, Leah and Rachel respected and revered the position of motherhood. In their culture, there was a very visible line between a man and a woman. And these women seemed to glory in the fact that they are the weaker vessel. Mary willingly rode on the donkey. There was no trying to prove herself as strong as any man. Ruth allowed herself to be humble enough to ask Boaz to be her protector. Now really. How many young ladies nowadays would ever entertain the thought of asking for a protector in their times of trial? Much less going in to a man personally and laying theirself down at his feet? No. Young women today think that they have to "be strong", "be independent". and "make their own way". But we see a very clear picture in the great women of old of prized femininity. I personally like wearing skirts most of the time. There are days when I work with Dad that I would be physically endangering myself to wear a skirt, (lawn mower blades and the like- yeah) but you know, I like keeping that line. When I am doing really physical activity, I wear the appropriate clothes. When I am being a homemaker, I wear the appropriate clothes for that too. There is nothing quite so feminine feeling as a pretty skirt, my hair neatly arranged, and an apron tied around my waist. Clothed in such, I feel quite ready to take on the pile of dishes in the sink, or the dirty children that need baths. It gets me in the spirit of my position as a homemaker-in-training. I also have learned to enjoy being the weaker vessel. I do not feel the need to carry the heavy bag of grass seed just to prove myself when Dad or Daniel is right there offering to help me. I love it when there is a rare man, a perfect stranger, who will open the door for me when I walk into a gas station, and wait to close it till I am all the way through :) I love knowing that the Lord has given me Dad to be my protector, and until I find my Boaz, I want to stay under his guidance. Jesus has given me new eyes to again see what a blessing my femininity is to me. I am so excited about that possibility of becoming a mother some day! To bring children into the world who you and your husband can train to be faithful men and women... what a privilege! This truly is something no man could ever do, and therefore is uniquely ours as women!
So anyway, I hope I gave that more than a lick and a promise, and I'll end here with a challenge to embrace the fact that we are women, and to seek to clothe ourselves with the old-fashioned charm of a meek and quiet spirit! (by the way, the date on the photo is wrong)